Online Dating

Now that I’ve turned 34 I’ve started to ask myself some very difficult questions, most of which are relationship related. Things like whether or not I plan to get married or even start dating again. Am I happy in my career, do I want to have a baby; things like that. The answers I came up with have led to some changes in the way I live my life

Let me be clear about one thing though; I don’t hate men. Au contraire! Men are rather exquisite works of art and I’ve certainly been known to have hours and hours of fun with them. But I’ve noticed that when I’m on my own, I’m just much happier and content. My own identity gets lost when I’m in a relationship. Something goes awry; I’m just not sure if that’s down to me or the guy.

I haven’t always felt like this. I started dating when I was 17 and had my first real boyfriend when I was 20. I’ve always wanted a career and I wanted to get married. Like many women, the plan was college, career, marriage and then two kids. At least the career part of the plan worked out!

Suffice it to say that my dating life has been one Mr. Wrong after another. Wrong for me, not wrong in general. I’ve tried internet dating, blind dates, the club and bar scene, networking events. Heck, there isn’t an avenue that I’ve left unexplored in my quest to meet a guy.

Although I had some fun and met some interesting people, my social life was equivalent to a roller coaster. I encountered many highs, followed by many lows. Hey, I always knew that being young was about having a blast, but somewhere in the years after college, I began to mature.

I had no idea that adult life would sneak up on me, but it did. I guess paying rent and other bills may have contributed to this change in attitude. I no longer found it cute when my boyfriend came home wasted or when he flirted with other women while sitting across the table with me.

So, after much reflection, I’m throwing in the towel so to speak. I will grow old as gracefully as possible, and I’ll do it alone. The upside? I don’t have to share my bed, or someone else’s problems. The downside? I don’t have anyone to share my bed with for love dovey session at 2 am. Ah well, I have my stack of specialty catalogues and AA batteries!

I feel pretty good about myself. I no longer have to worry about my guy being unfaithful or being reminded of how pretty I was when we first met. I have a full live, with a great career and wonderful friends. Besides, being single doesn’t rule out an occasional steamy love affair. With that in mind, my solo days are off to a flying start, at least for now.

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